drinking every night. tonight was drambuie yuck. im starting to write a book, hopefully itll be carthatic. finisihed the intro today. gilly was always tellling me to write. i haev an outline for the chpaters too. jesus im turning out to be pam, ecs mum, a friendless (for good reason!Q!0) overweight alcoholic. not quire overweiught yuet but give it time.. defiantly didnt get up all of my binge tonight. i know great people though, realllly, i am fortunate to have met themm amazing peoppples.
whats there to wirte about? not much, nothing newww. still in a pathetic situation of unrequited yearning love. still self loathing and self destructive and self harming. loving my beesgt friends erika jess siobhann casty jc. feeeling sad about others, rejeccted!! man i am ka-ioool, gettting drunk by myself and being a self pityying cunnt,.shots of smirnoff chased by hoem brand diet cola1111 woo!!!! im sorrry erika, i know i said i wouldnt but me and jordan got in a fighhht.. ill tell you later. umm also my therapaistt said my mumss actually reallly mentally ill and im protettting her? makes sense.. a bit. scgool soon.AS ALways, i only want one person. one thing.